Oppo, I Have a Big Secret to Tell You... (Update)

"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/09/2014 at 15:09 • Filed to: Coming Out, Transition, Oppo

Approximately one month ago I announced to the Oppo community about !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for about seven years now.

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That day, is when I learned Oppo is more than just an online car enthusiast community, but a truly amazing place. You all are awesome in ways I can't even type out on screen. We're all a diverse group of people joined together by a simple love for all sorts of vehicles. It's mind-blowing what this place is capable of and I love you for it. <3

And a special shoutout to those of you who offered awesome words of advice, quotes, supportive statements, and even offered help (and possibly shelter, if necessary). There are too many to list, but you know who you are. :)

Now, one thing I did not do is really say what may take place in my future and it does appear that quite a few of you are wondering. And I also didn't really describe my feelings either. So, here's an update! :)

Over the course of the six-seven years I did this before I came out, I knew I loved it. But since I only dressed up like once a week and only in the warmer months (April-October), I never got to get the full-on experience. Then adding to that, I was afraid of what people would think, so I never allowed my feelings to flourish.

I equate it to test driving a car. You love it, you know you want to keep driving it, but since it's only a test drive you don't know to what extent you love it...Then you're afraid of what people would think if you bought it...

Since the unleashing of my true, unfiltered personality and my freeing of feelings about my "other side", my expectations have been completely shattered.

I expected to simply just merge my two identities into one and switch between physical appearances when I felt like it. I was asked if I would transition and become a girl full-time. At that time, I was somewhat confident that answer was a "no". But it didn't happen that way, at all.

As time has been passing I've been loving every second of it more and more and more. I seriously didn't expect to love it as much as I do and then I expected those feelings to fade over time. They aren't. They grow stronger with each passing day and have evolved into a deep seated love. Like the kind of love you have for your family, your child, your significant other; maybe even the passions you hold in life?

My "girl personality" is actually my real, unfiltered personality (I altered my personality to please my parents and to conform to their vision of society) and though now I'm myself no matter how I look, myself and others have observed that my girl look best matches my true identity.

And it's true. I feel "myself" and the most comfortable and liberated as my girl self. It feels like...the real me...

And those in my life seem to hold the same opinion. They say "When you are Mercedes, you are noticeably happier; to the likes of which I've never seen you before. And I've known you for nearly a decade", and another saying "I feel like this is the true you, that this is who you really are". Every single person I know has said this or something like it. The feelings and my thoughts wholeheartedly agree. This all feels right, like all the pieces of the puzzle that have confused me through life finally fit together. I still feel like crying about how happy I feel. Even the smiles I have in selfies are genuine. <3

So, I want to give myself more time to see if my feelings and opinions will change (though, I know these kind of feelings and I know they will only grow stronger).

At the same time, I'm also seeking out a Gender Therapist to see if my feelings and thoughts are valid...And if so, go full time and start Transition and HRT...

I felt this was just the start of a much grander journey and it turns out I was right.

I still need to come out to my parents (about both parts of my "secret") and if I follow through with Transition, my workplace and college (college will be easy).

Given that my parents and brother are extremely hostile about both subjects and will not take change of any kind (they wouldn't talk to me for two weeks after I told them I wasn't going to be a doctor), that part of the journey will be the hardest. Hence I'm waiting until I move out in a few months for the big reveal.

But yeah, I can't say I've ever been happier than I am now. <3
I've even gone shopping a few times. I can't get enough!

There's my big update. Thanks Oppo, all of you are an important part of this journey of a lifetime and I thank all of you. <3

P.S. Thanks for sharing this to GroupThink (I'd do it myself but I can't)!!! As I update monthly, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! :)

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DISCUSSION (69)

505Turbeaux > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:13

well hell if your parents and brother are hostile, glad Oppo could be here for you! Stay happy Mercedes!

Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:16

Happy to be here for ya. Keep on bein' awesome.

ly2v8-Brian > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:17

You feel comfortable in your own skin. That's what matters. So good for you.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:20

It's cool that you got to choose a car brand as your name. Did you consider other car names, or is Mercedes a perfect first try?

crowmolly > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:23

Be strong and be you! I wish you all the best.

Barry Smith > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:23

Redneck Okie here. All is good. Carry On!

Steve in Manhattan > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:25

Do whatever makes you happy because, as far as we know, this is the only crack you'll get at it.

ttyymmnn > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:25

Beautiful and awesome. In many ways you are braver than any of us can ever know. To thine own self be true. Keep being brave, keep being who you want and need to be. I wish you all the happiness this crazy world can give you.

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:29

"Even the smiles I have in selfies are genuine."

Kinja'd!!!

This is a thing that happens? It must be the true you. If something can make you feel that happy and that comfortable with yourself... You gotta follow that through and see where it takes you. And if your family is dumb enough to not want to be a part of that journey, sucks for them. You've got another family right here.

Raphmoe > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:30

Kinja'd!!!

is all good in the hood, we love you just the way you are.

Pixel > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:34

I somehow missed your first post, but I wanted to say how awesome it is for you that you were able to come out about who you really are. Wish you nothing but the best in your transition.

Svend > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:35

Don't listen to those who are hostile against you. As long as you're happy in yourself. You can't please everybody all the time and sometimes you need to put yourself first, friends will stick with you and they are the ones of values, the others don't deserve a second thought.

I hope all goes well for the future, just keep your chin up and remember nobody can put you down without your say so, okay. Be true to yourself, you can't be true to others if you can't be yourself.

Textured Soy Protein > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:36

One of my students who just graduated went through a similar transition to yourself, and my "nephew" (gf's nephew really) just went in the opposite direction from female to male.

I'm cool with whatever, of course. But there were some students who couldn't quite wrap their heads around Mike becoming Michelle, and not everyone in my gf's family quite understands that Ashley is now Ethan.

You're going to find not everyone will necessarily approve of your transition. I can tell you from my nephew's experience, his mom is having trouble with the concept not because she disapproves of trans in and of itself, but because she feels like the name and identity she gave her daughter is being rejected.

It's tough. There will be challenges. But if it's how you truly feel and it's what makes you comfortable in your own skin, stick with it.

EL_ULY > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:46

Kinja'd!!!

it's all good buddy :] And what ever you do from here on forward, try to think RACECAR!!!

Kinja'd!!!

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:51

it's always fun to find yourself in life. If it makes you happy (and you're not harming anyone else) then it's all good and alright by me.

Your real friends will show themselves and stick by the ones who care about you for you, and not for what they think you should be; no matter how that is.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 15:59

So your middle name should become AMG? I kid I kid, be happy who you are Mercedes.

Mercedes Streeter > Textured Soy Protein
12/09/2014 at 16:02

Thank you!!! :)

Interesting story (and so far, proving to be indeed similar to mine). Most of my fellow tech classmates seem accepting of the idea. But I think that they think I've been joking about this.

One of the first things I was told (by the first person I came out to) was that not everyone will be accepting. Other than a few growing pains from friends, I fear my family will the first real instance of opposition. And I'm trying to be ready for that.

But it's something I'm more than willing to fight for! <3

Mercedes Streeter > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata
12/09/2014 at 16:08

I think so!! I used to HATE taking pictures of myself because I'd have to force out an awkward smile. Now, that smile is like already there. :)

And my best friends too. They're just like family to me and we all treat each other like family.

I'm just happy (and lucky) that I've had such a friendly kick-off to my Transition. I know of people who have had nothing but hell since coming out and I feel for them, especially since my family doesn't know yet. I know what my family is capable of and it scares me, just a little.

And I love the Oppo family!!!! <3

Mercedes Streeter > EL_ULY
12/09/2014 at 16:10

Very much thanks Mr. Cookie Monster!! :D

Though, for me it'll be RACECAR and technology!

Bonus points for the SLS. <3

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:10

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but you posted this the same time Doug posted his "suggest me a new car".......we have priorities here on this site.....and now, if you'll excuse me, I have found YET ANOTHER BRILLIANT SUGGESTION!!!

Two words - Electric. Pickup.

Mercedes Streeter > Svend
12/09/2014 at 16:13

The interesting thing is that over this time, I've found who my true friends are. Interestingly enough, everyone who I thought was my friend actually is. And I've reconnected with old friends that have been lost as well. :)

Another Opponaut told me: "Do what you do; the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter." - A quote I've been living by ever since.

Mercedes Streeter > 505Turbeaux
12/09/2014 at 16:15

Thank you very much! Despite my many unanswered questions and few concerns, I've never been this confident and happy about myself. And it's always comforting to know that people are there for you, even in the darkest hour. <3

505Turbeaux > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:16

always

GhostZ > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:17

I'm not going to lie, I thought this is where Your Stereotypical Indian ended up going when I saw the picture on the sidebar.

The world is a complicated place, and we are complicated people.

Glad you found you.

Mercedes Streeter > ttyymmnn
12/09/2014 at 16:20

Why thank you!! <3

To this day I have no clue how I got to this point. The old me would not stray too far outside of established boundaries. Yet somehow all of this happened. I can explain the actions and why I did it, just now "how". I just hope I'm ready for all the crazy this world has to offer, good and bad.

Mercedes Streeter > saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars
12/09/2014 at 16:24

The funny thing is that when I was choosing both my first name I decided I would stick with whatever name first came into my mind. I'm not sure why, but "Mercedes" was the first name that popped into my mind. :)

Since the other thing I love so much is my car (Mercedes-Benz is the parent company to smart) I figure maybe that's why it was the first thing that came to my mind. ???

For my last name, I let my best friend pick, since she is pretty much the only reason I am where I am today. <3

Mercedes Streeter > Raphmoe
12/09/2014 at 16:25

Thanks Raph!! :)

Interestingly enough, there aren't many car-type of online communities that are like that too, which makes it even more amazing.

Mercedes Streeter > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman
12/09/2014 at 16:31

That's actually part of the reason I spent two years of college following Abnormal Psychology; I was looking for a problem with myself. And though it is all listed in the DSM and such it also isn't detrimental to my life. It's actually liberated me!!

And one thing I told them: Even though my appearance on the outside my change, on the inside I'm still the lovable character you all know me to be. :)

Mercedes Streeter > Steve in Manhattan
12/09/2014 at 16:32

I agree!!! :)

My only "regret" (if you can call it that) is taking seven years to finally find myself.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:33

There's a good line from "Teach me How To Dougie" for you to remind all the haters out ther

It goes:

Now you just do you and I'm a do me

jkm7680 > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:34

I'm glad you're happy! If you're confident, and feel good in your own shoes, then that's all that matters.

Mercedes Streeter > GhostZ
12/09/2014 at 16:37

Muahahahahaha you aren't wrong, they made it here!

Such few words yet so true, and thank you! I'm happy I'm found myself. :)

Mercedes Streeter > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/09/2014 at 16:39

Confusing Jalop kind one post at a time. :)

WOW! And not just electric, that crazy thing is in my state too!

Mercedes Streeter > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
12/09/2014 at 16:40

Only if I lived in Florida :P

Thanks so much! And I am! :)

BaseTrim > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 16:41

Holy shit this place is awesome. Lots of love!

Mercedes Streeter > jkm7680
12/09/2014 at 16:44

That's the kind of advice that helped get me this far and I hope will carry me into the future. Thanks! :)

Mercedes Streeter > ly2v8-Brian
12/09/2014 at 16:45

Indeed! It took me so very long to realize that simple statement. But the past is the past, onward to the future... :)

Mercedes Streeter > Pixel
12/09/2014 at 16:46

Haha it's okay! There's so much going on in the Kinja network each day I'm surprised anyone reads anything. It's been scary, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you. :)

Mercedes Streeter > Tohru
12/09/2014 at 16:47

I'll try my best!!!! And I'll keep you in mind if things start getting...sideways... :)

Mercedes Streeter > crowmolly
12/09/2014 at 16:48

Short, simple, yet still uplifting. Thanks!!! :)

Mercedes Streeter > BaseTrim
12/09/2014 at 16:50

I know!!! This place never ceases to amaze me. <3

Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 17:08

Door's always open. Figuratively, of course - this is a Wisconsin winter.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 17:33

Fun story about the name Mercedes-Benz: Karl Benz named his company that because his daughter's name was Mercedes. So, there's like, heritage there, or something. haha

Mercedes Streeter > saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars
12/09/2014 at 18:01

I know!! It's like a little known story behind Mercedes. :)

Mercedes Streeter > Tohru
12/09/2014 at 18:15

Of course!!! Thank you! <3

Also, there should be a Midwest Oppo group started. :)

Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 18:17

Like a Facebook group, or what?

Also, found two more Wisconsin Oppo's in that pitbull thread.

Mercedes Streeter > Tohru
12/09/2014 at 18:25

Facebook would be good, though I'd only be able to visit it on breaks and after work (office router blocks all connections containing the word "Facebook"). Otherwise, I wouldn't know any other efficient means. xD

Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 18:37

Hang on lass, I've got an idea.

Tohru > Mercedes Streeter
12/09/2014 at 19:18

I'm waiting on an email from Kinja support for how to make this a group blog. Once it's a group blog, authors can be added.

Tohru > Tohru
12/09/2014 at 19:19

test message

edu-petrolhead > Mercedes Streeter
12/10/2014 at 09:41

I'm very happy for you! The world is a rough place, and sometimes people can make the Earth even rougher. For other reasons I passed through difficult times during my adolescence and early adulthood (social problems that gave birth do major depressive disorder) and, heck, I know how hard can it be to be socially accepted as yourself.

For me, the secret for hapiness is the well-beign, which stars with beign good with ourselves.

Also, congratulations! I believe it takes a lot of courage to do this. I don't know if I could be so brave!

Mercedes Streeter > edu-petrolhead
12/10/2014 at 11:07

Thank you so much for the encouraging words! I'd even say "rough" is a gross understatement. We live in a world where things that are different from the social norms are shot down, often with violence. Then there's always that fear that you'd scare everyone off and you'll be all alone. To this day, I'm not sure why I sent the text message that started this whole thing, but I'm glad I did it.

And I know exactly what you're saying about adolescence. I've been extremely feminine all my life. It never has been much of a problem outside of my parents begging me to be manly except for a long and tough period through Middle School. As I didn't like "normal" guy things (they would be talking about rock music and the latest action flick while I would be talking about boy bands, girl pop singers, and chick flicks) and didn't act like a "normal guy" I was always a recipient of bullying (both verbal and physical) from my peers.

Thankfully, such bullying magically ceased going into High School and by keeping my head up I was able to avoid harsh long term damage. Though, those years of bullying made me afraid to leave my comfort zone and explore my true self. Some of my other friends haven't been so lucky and do battle some form of depression in some form or another

Gamecat235 > Tohru
12/10/2014 at 12:13

Just an FYI - I wrote this up: http://gamecat235.kinja.com/how-to-create-…

Out of curiosity did Kinja support point you to the Merge help topic? https://kinja.desk.com/customer/porta…

Tohru > Gamecat235
12/10/2014 at 12:16

Never heard back from them, found that help desk article on my own.

I ended up merging the Upper Midwest account with my main Tohru account. At least that way I can shamelessly self-promote once or twice in Oppo.

edu-petrolhead > Mercedes Streeter
12/11/2014 at 19:32

Sorry for the long delayed answer, but I was thinking about what you said.

Bullying is terrible, I'm sorry for what happened to you :(. Things like this, the use of physical and psychological force against what's different, proves me that the human beign is just like any other animal of the forest, but with a little pinch of technology and knowledge. Why we're considered "rational" beigns, if people can't be rational with their peers!?!?!?

The comfort zone is a complicated place. Now that I'm good, looking to the past, I can admit that maybe it was my laziness of getting out my comfort zone that made me delve into deep depression. I was that "strange/nerd kid": I didn't liked soccer (in Brazil soccer is almost a religion), was vegetarian, was atheist, liked to read a lot, liked to do research, liked to learn... But I had the urge to "adapt me to the society", and be like everyone else, because I felt like a loser. I didn't had the trust to affirm myself. So, since I didn't took any step out of my comfort zone, I dived in my own mind, and got stuck there. As an example, I was ashamed of collecting diecast models, because toy cars were for kids!!

It was not anything as close as what happened to you, but now that I'm good, I like to share my story, because it taught me that the world is, indeed, a harsh place, and we don't ask to be here, we are just born. So the best way to make our existence pleasurable, is to be good with yourself.

AnonymousBanana > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 01:10

I can give you a share on groupthink if you'd like :)

Mercedes Streeter > AnonymousBanana
01/13/2015 at 10:46

I would absolutely positively LOVE that!!! <3 :D

oldwomanyellsatclods > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 12:11

Love the polka-dots and the sweetheart neckline! Good luck in your journey (I'm normally a GT commenter)

Mercedes Streeter > oldwomanyellsatclods
01/13/2015 at 12:23

Thanks so much!!!! <3

It's my most favourite dress. And soon enough I'll be able to start wearing it more often. :)

I'd love to post and comment on GT, but I'm forever relegated to the gray...

Violet Baudelaire > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 12:25

Hi from over at Groupthink! I know I should probably have way deeper and more exciting things to say but that polka dot dress is freaking ADORABLE. I hope you come over and post and hang out on GT :)

oldwomanyellsatclods > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 12:35

Start commenting, and you'll be out of the grays in no time; Slay (our glorious patron and founder), Sorcia and the rest of the mods bring people of the grays pretty quickly, and then every two or three months they do a call for people interested in posting.

Mercedes Streeter > Violet Baudelaire
01/13/2015 at 12:37

Awww! <3 It's my most favourite thing in my entire wardrobe!! Even better now that I've figured out how to wear it in the Winter too. :D

And of course! I've been reading GT posts since my coming out! And now that I know how the place works, you'll definitely be seeing more of me!

P.S. That username is so awesome!!!!

Mercedes Streeter > oldwomanyellsatclods
01/13/2015 at 12:39

Noted!! You'll most definitely be seeing me around more now!! :)

CarlySparkles > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 12:51

a : LOVE LOVE LOVE THE POLKA DOTS. so cute!

b : congrats!

c : sorry this is over a month late, I don't visit jalopnik very often, and it was cross-posted.

d : i'm just so happy that you're so happy! it's always nice to see people expressing themselves and smiling and oh my god I can't get over the polka dots you are just so cute

The Cranberry Cap'n > Mercedes Streeter
01/13/2015 at 13:05

Hopping over from GT — I don't know a thing about cars, myself — just to say good for you and good luck! That's so great that you feel so happy and like yourself.

Mercedes Streeter > CarlySparkles
01/13/2015 at 14:03

I'm happy to see that everyone loves my dress as much as I do!!! <3

Thanks so much!!! I'm usually smiling, but now I'm smiling even more! I never want this to end and only look forward to the future. :)

And it's okay! There aren't many people on Oppo who can post on GroupThink, and I'm so happy someone was finally able to do it.

Mercedes Streeter > The Cranberry Cap'n
01/13/2015 at 14:05

And that's okay!! I'll be hopping over to GT myself. And thanks very much! My journey is only beginning! I hope it never ends. :)

The Cranberry Cap'n > Mercedes Streeter
01/14/2015 at 13:40

Fun fact: I was completely embarrassed the other day when I took my car to the tire dealer for new tires, and he asked me which one in the lot was mine. I was reduced to pointing and saying "The... blue one...?" because I couldn't remember if it was a Saturn or a Ford. In other news, welcome to GT!

Mercedes Streeter > The Cranberry Cap'n
01/14/2015 at 13:46

It's okay!!! Not everyone has to be car people. As long as they don't break down on you. :)

My mom is worse! She sees one she likes, then tries to describe it to me "It was big and silver!" I'm pretty much convinced they all are either Nissan Armadas or Infiniti QX80s. xD

And thank you!!! I'm loving it already. <3